Kailee is a an amazing mother of 2, a sweet wifey, and THE best friend you could ever have. To know her is to truly love her. Her sense of humor and deep rooted love for life is infectious! Follow her on @beyondbrilliantlips on FB & Instagram for access to amazing products & a good laugh now + then with her Live videos.
Okay so I'm here to talk about what it's like to have 2 kids under 2..... and I wish I could come up with something cute or creative to depict that, but I am currently sitting on the couch while my two babies are asleep, in my sweats, watching House Hunter re-runs and my brain feels a little like mush (sorry for the bad visual).
I had my daughter on June 14th 2015 and that day forever changed my life. The day I became a mom my life was no longer about me. I was completely smitten by this little precious baby that God gifted to me and it was slightly, okay extremely overwhelming. Not only was she a really challenging baby, but I was an insanely worried mom. About absolutely everything. When she cried, I cried. This happened for probably the first 3 months. Eventually I pulled myself together and figured out the whole "motherhood" thing and what it's all about. Finally I was feeling like I had my feet under me and I could actually leave the house without my daughter or I experiencing multiple breakdowns. 6 months later I found out I was pregnant.....
I was taking the mini-pill for the first 3 months... HENCE the insanity. Not only was I breastfeeding, taking birth control and trying to get more than 5 hours of sleep a night, but now because of the mini-pill I was on my period NON-stop. Lets just say I was beyond exhausted 24/7 and was SO done with all of it. I stopped taking the mini-pill and became one of the lucky ladies that got a regular period 3 months after child-birth. My husband and I promised that we would just be very "cautious" until one day we weren't. BOOM. Positive pregnancy test. We were thrilled (of course we were), but having babies 18 months apart is NO joke.
I had a new baby when my first was and still IS a BABY. This is one of the hardest and most important things I try to remind myself on a daily basis. My daughter still can't form sentences. She is still just beginning to say new words everyday. I love watching her learn and grow. But when my son was born on December 16th, 2016- I expected my first to instantly GROW up in all capacities. I found myself being more disappointed in her each day rather than CELEBRATING her. This was something that took me a few months to attempt to master, although I still have days when I struggle. I realized that she is STILL my baby girl. Just because I had a newborn who was so little and tiny and fit snug into my arms, didn't mean that my 18 month old that felt huge and no longer breastfeeds all the sudden turned 13 and independent. Of course there are certain expectations that are set for a "toddler" that are more intense than with a newborn. But when I had my second I set some extremely unrealistic expectations for my daughter that did NOT benefit her or I. As soon as I dropped those, my life and my children's lives became EXPONENTIALLY better.
First- I learned to CELEBRATE the little things.
The fact that my daughter can now FEED herself cereal in the mornings and can actually get most of the cereal AND milk into her mouth rather than all over the highchair and floor is HEAVEN sent. The fact that she can attempt to tell me what she wants using her best vocal efforts is MUSIC to my ears. The fact that she can BRING me a diaper and wipes when she needs a diaper change is EXTREMELY helpful. The fact that she understands what it means to help clean up her toys and LISTENS and actually attempts to HELP, is the most amazing thing of all time. The fact that she SLEEPS through the night and has been since 10 months old is probably the best present in the world she could give me as a mom. These are just a few of things that bring me SUCH joy throughout the day.
Second- I have learned to fully EMBRACE messy, insane CHAOS.
I am guilty of being a little OCD. I think most moms have it to some level. We all want things to look nice, organized and picked up. At least for the most part. Or we want other people/ moms to think we have it all put together all the time. I just decided one day to drop the act. I was completely exhausted trying to make it seem like I had everything together ALL the time. I completely OWN the fact that my laundry hasn't been folded in 3 days, my sink is full of dishes most days, there are toys and things strewn EVERYWHERE. In every nook and cranny possible, there is probably an item of some sort that doesn't belong there. And that's okay. I have 2 babies under 2 years old. What did I honestly expect? If I have a spare moment of quiet I like to binge watch HGTV and admire everyone else's homes that are perfectly organized and think to myself, "I'll have that one day when all my kids are grown up and then I'll proceed to cry myself to sleep because I'll miss having my babies and a messy house." I try to play that statement on repeat in my head when I'm feeling claustrophobic sitting in a pile of play dough surrounded by stuffed animals having a tea party.
Third- I have learned that crying is essential for survival.
How true is that?! I can't believe it took me so long to realize this. Newborns literally HAVE to cry, there is no other option. They have no other means of communication. I used to be afraid of it. Not knowing if I could stop my child from crying once they started. But, I have learned that they will stop EVENTUALLY. whether it's in a few minutes or an hour, they will stop. I CANNOT be a perfect mom. I can't. I've tried and I've learned that it just doesn't help anyone to have those unrealistic expectations for ourselves. Again, crying is essential for survival. I have found myself in tears many many many many times throughout these last few years of motherhood. Out of frustration, excitement, happiness or pure exhaustion. I cry because I am a human mother of two wonderfully perfectly insane children that cause ALL my emotions to come flooding out at any and all moments of the day. I have cried alone, with my children, with my husband or with perfect strangers. All of which I have learned create another level of love and trust.
Fifth- I have learned that THIS is the BEST thing in the entire world.
A lot of other women or moms approach me when I am out running errands with the two kids (as one or both of them are probably screaming) and they tell me "You have your hands full." At first it used to really get under my skin because I would think to myself "THANK YOU for stating the obvious." Let's be honest, sometimes it still bothers me. But most days, I just let it ROLL right off my back because I am truly and honestly OBSESSED with my life. I love my little family of 4. Yes, I am usually in a "you have your hands full" situation, but I wouldn't have it any other way. I feel SO blessed to me a mom to my two kids. I wouldn't change a SINGLE thing. I would choose to have my hands full every single day because it makes my life SO much more fulfilling, exciting and HAPPY.
Motherhood is the greatest gift we can be given in this life. We are emotionally, physically, spiritually and intellectually strong women trying our absolutely hardest to raise emotionally, physically, spiritually and intellectually STRONG children in this crazy world. I LOVE my chaotic, baby-filled life and I wouldn't change a thing. 2 kids under 2 is the sweetest most challenging thing I have ever done. And I love every single second of it, even if I have to convince myself to love it in that moment. We are MOTHERS and we should CELEBRATE that.